How to Appear Enlightened (For Men Only) May 6
by Hugh Prather
published in The Holy Encounter
A man recently sent an email to my radio show saying that he had been dumped by his girl friend because he wasn’t spiritual enough. That day he also heard another woman make the same complaint about her boyfriend. His question was what does it take to appear enlightened to women. This got me thinking about how we assess each other’s levels of attainment and what passes for spirituality within the “body-mind-spirit” or “new age” community.
True spirituality is the recognition of oneness or equality, and so nothing could be further from enlightenment than to compare ourselves to others and conclude that we are further along. But no one I know is ready to ascend, so maybe we all secretly make these judgments. Surely, though, no man should be dateless because he doesn’t understand what is spiritually correct.
There are different standards within different groups. People who attend Unity or other “new thought” churches will emphasize different characteristics than those, say, who are in A Course in Miracles groups or who run in Western-style Buddhist circles. Then there are the people who (thankfully) buy a lot of self-help books, tapes, and calendars but don’t identify with only one path. Yet it seems to me there is a lot of overlapping, and it’s from this pool of common denominators that I made my list of 10 spiritual do’s and don’ts for men who need help getting a date.
1. Never say “Hello.” Say “Namaste.” Be sure to hold your hands together. Second choice, “Aloha.” Always explain that it means both “hello” and “goodbye.”
2. When shaking hands with a woman, gently lay your left hand on top.
3. Never say, “You look great!” Say, “You have a great aura today.” Or say, “You have such a beautiful glow.”
4. Bring Joseph Campbell into the conversation as much as possible. A good quote to use on a date is, “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Second choice, the Dalai Lama. Good date quote: “The purpose of life is to be happy.”
5. If your date asks you, “Are you taking anything for that?” say, “A homeopathic remedy.” If she asks you, “Are you doing anything for that?” say, “I’m seeing my acupuncturist tomorrow.”
6. If anyone beside your date says they are vegetarian, immediately announce you are vegan. If they say “past life,” always bring up “parallel lives.” If they refer to ‘The’ Course in Miracles, say, “It’s A Course in Miracles,” and tell them why.
7. Be sure to dress the part also. Never wear leather accessories. Never wear synthetic fibers. Never wear a shirt with the name of a corporation, designer or “Ultimate Fighting Championship” prominently displayed.
8. A good overall look is white cotton (as in “white light”) and sandals (the footwear of the Master).
9. If it gets this far, never say about the sex, “Wow!” or “You’re really good!” Say it was “mystical.” Or say, “You must have been studying Tantra Yoga.”
10. If there’s a chance she will walk out with you to your pickup, lose the nude-girl mud flaps.
Naturally it’s cool to be spiritual rather than just appear so. The shortcut way to do that is simply to be kind. To wrap ourselves in the symbols of spirituality rather than allowing it to come from the heart — for example, to say the right words just to get someone in bed — betrays our self as well as the other person. If someone finds our deeper self off-putting, chances are that is not a relationship worth pursuing.